• :: wohoo. Traveltrousers.com is up to position 4,687,000 in the world :p only a few positions to clear then :p #
• :: hmmm, going to the pastry shop so room before dinner was a mistake… But a tasty one #
• ::when you have to go… No power in xela atm so im crapping in the dark :p wonder if i should start a campaign to popularise bog seats? :/ #
• ::should i be concerned that everytime i use the unearthed electric shower in my host families house it lights up like a christmas tree? #
• @traveltrousers test! in reply to traveltrousers #
• :: what a nightmare, my usual teacher is on a course and her replacement is making me study! :p #
• ::salsa was so good, dancing as 2 couples & swapping partners after each move is such good fun! Only problem is my knees are now killing me! #
• ::while the rest of the northern hemisphere swelters in the summer heat i am stuck up a mountain in torrential rain. i should try research?! #
• ::after only 5 months i have nearly fixed my minifridge.Now it gets warm this is good, i just need to improve the cold side #
• :: My usual cafe is closed so Im forced to come to Baveria. Nice sofa, good coffee, but Lionel Richey and Whitney?? oooo soul2soul! better! #
• ::yay! After a week of frustration i have finally managed to get my firewire interface working. Dont expect a CD just yet but its a step… #
• :: im back at the cycle repair man, one of my pedals fell off. I could do it myself but why bother when it only costs 50c #
• :: does it mean im getting old because i object to people letting off fireworks outside my house at 5 in the morning? :/ #
• ::its so depressing to spend an hour in bed & you cant sleep… Maybe i Should study some verbs, that ought to knock me out! #
• :: Im sad the girl I danced with at Salsa class last week didn’t win the Miss Quetzaltenango 2008 competition :p The winner was nice though! #
• :: nice cafe? check. Good music? check. Hot coffee? Check. Interesting people? Check. Stinky chain smoking locals? Check #

::its so depressing to spend an hour in bed & you cant sleep… Maybe i Should study some verbs, that ought to knock me out!

Day 320

Quetzaltenango, Guatemala

300 posts eh?

Yesterday I felt really bad. I was supposed to be getting up at 5.30 and hiking up to a lake for 2 hours. After tossing and turning until 3.30 and then only getting a couple of hours sleep, combined with a muffled headache and sore throat I reset my alarm and got some more sleep.

I hoped it wasn’t anything serious.

Later on in the morning I hung out at the hostel, half regretting my laziness during such a nice day but mostly happy that I wasn’t stressed and running around while feeling lousy. I did something to my site and effectively killed it so that took a couple of hours to figure out.

When I got it sorted I headed over to my school where I was being my Spanish classes on Monday to hopefully catch up with someone who knew where my host family lived. They were expecting me to come on the hike but luckily Niklas and Chris came walking down the hill and I was able to find where I was supposed to be moving to.

I had a homestay with a family of 5, Lulu and Romero the parents and Michelle, David and Sandra, their kids in their early twenties. None of them speak English which should help. I’m also getting 4.5 hours of Spanish lessons a day for $150 a week. If this doesn’t get me fluent I don’t know what will.

David had his birthday too which meant the house then filled up with friends and relatives for a big booze up. I managed to drag myself up for the party and had a couple of drinks. They then started playing a game which can only be described as ‘strip-pass the parcel’. I was slightly confused but got the general idea. When the balloon got to me I was required to remove an item of clothing while dancing in front of an attractive girl. Just what I didn’t want to do while feeling slightly dizzy but I still put on a good show :p

After a while I try to go to bed but am forced to dance salsa with one of the daughters. Damn this place! :p

Got to Bombay at 2am, was kinda late so I checked into the first hotel I saw, $38 a night but I was tired, slept for 14 hours.
Was far too late to get up and change hotels at 4pm so I had some food and wandered around Colbara, plenty of tourists. Saw the gateway to India and looked at some shops, drank some juice and went back to bed. 14 days of working and the hassle of getting my visa the day before had taken their toll.

Next day I got up too late to get a cheaper room again, they called from reception but i unplugged the phone. No do not disturb sign…
I looked at the map and went walking in Bombay, still not sure why they changed the name. Went north from Colbara, was interesting, walked for about 3 hours. Bought a few odds and ends, nothing exciting, was nice to get out and see a whole new city, a whole new country and for the people that lived there, their whole world.

Third lazy day, another walk, same punjabi thali in the same place, same people asking me to buy their stuff. I have to leave tomorrow, still not managed to wake up early enough to check out.

I get up in the morning!! I have a thali for breakfast somewhere new, I walk up to the train station so I know where it is and use my visa card to buy a ticket to Pune (no big queues but it costs me 40p for the privilege of swiping). I store my bags, bum around some more and go to get the train. Wasted time in Mumbai, too tired, too disorganized, but I’m in India…

Late train, sleep, go to big hotel, people call me sir but its cheap. I learn Brad and Angelina left Pune the same day back to Bombay, I was hoping to meet them for a drink. Next time. I explode my backpack and set up the washing line, the water temperature in the shower is too variable to enjoy.

Call Eric, para gliding instructor, he comes in the morning and sits chatting on his phone. Busy guy. We agree to start that afternoon, he gives me a lift to my new backpacker ghetto near the ashram, I find a cheap apartment and pull my jeans back on. Time to fly.

100 rupees for the majority of the way to the school, i get VJ to take me the rest of the way. Nice guy, works the phones all night for the Americans and flies in the day. Eric is on his phone, we drive out to some fields, hike a small hill, they test the wing and then we move 500m to a flat field. Pointless, I’m in my harness and hanging around. They hook me up, give me the spiel, run here, pull this, feel the wind. Up goes the glider and I pump my legs and keep it up, rinse repeat. They ask me if I’m tired but I keep saying ‘One more’. The sun sets and we stop.

The coannell give me a lift most of the way into town, its hot, dusty and dark. The streets are packed with people, no rickshaws but after an age we find one and I head back to coffee and cakes at the German bakery and sleep. I meet Doctor George in my apartment, he’s at the ashram, digs waking my up at 5am, Israeli Australian, nice guy. I sleep.

Up early for my proper lesson, boots, jeans, gloves, helmet, check… I try for a rickshaw, they want to know where, I don’t know, I know how to get there. We agree a price despite the lack of clear goals, he refuses the meter, its too early it seems. He throws me out 4/5 of the way, I pay and walk. Wave to the locals who never see tourists on this backwater farm track. Im late, Eric is on the phone, but we sort the paper work, sign the forms and head off to the bank. Guess they want me to pay.

1/2 drive to the hill, we try a new one, its too windy, its too late. Anandvitty, the assistant, tries a few tricks. I stand around confused. I read my book some more, not been told to read it but it seems like a good idea. They fall over, give up, Eric chats to some locals for ages while we pack the wing and wait. We’ll try again in the afternoon.

I rent a scooter, fuck the rickshaws, 100rp a day, 1.20. I meet Vanessa who rents the other room in my apartment, nice, interesting, married…
No problem getting to school on time, need to get there quick so we can drink tea and Eric can take calls. Im wondering when he will start to teach me. The 4 of us set off, the guys on the toll bridge wave in anger as we refuse to stop again, Eric knows the builder.

1km to the hill base and 200m up, out come to gliders and on go my gear. I’m told the 10 checks for safety, I get a radio, don’t forget to turn it off when told, those rechargeable batteries are valuable! I kind of understand where to try to land, I kind of understand how to land, I have to be ready to run and turn, flare and fold. Its all very interesting, I wonder if I will remember when I hit the ground.

I pull, up goes the wing and you can feel the wind lifting, pulling, trying to draw you up to the heavens, and what goes up must come down. I run on command, the hill drops away, my heart beats and … I’m flying. No engine, just gravity pulling me down and the wind trying to push me back up. My heart beats on, do I feel fear? Panic? Elation? (obviously!). None of these things, i hang in the air with only string and fabric between me and a fall to my death, my heart beats steadily as if its the most natural thing in the world.

I do a couple of turns when Eric tells me through the walkie talkie, but I can’t make out anything else he says other than ‘right’ and ‘left’ with the wind rushing past. I pick my spot, I think about landing, flare (pull both brakes), run, turn, collapse the glider… The landing field is where Eric wanted me, but its me that got there, I flare as I come in like they do on TV, I run but my brain gets confused and I dont turn. Its ok, the wing comes down anyway in a mess, Ive flown and landed safely and my heart rate didn’t change…

Local boys come running, expert packers and porters so I can get back up the hill quick. They want their 20 rupees, but they don’t know the meaning of the word ‘no’. Oh they understand well enough, but their constant attempts at ‘helping’ me only makes the job go slower. Will you be there when I’m flying in Europe I ask them, but they don’t understand, they want pocket money. Eventually I get it packed, Anandnitty comes down nearby and tells me he only pays 10rp for a porter. Its not that far up, ’10 minutes’ Eric says, I wonder when he last climbed it.

Back at the top i rehydrate and get set up again, its getting late, the sun will set soon. Last flight, and the first one took 2 minutes to get to the bottom. 4 days training, with one on the ground, so 3 x 2 flights, 6 flights for 100 pounds, at 2 minutes a time, 8 pound a minute or 500 pounds an hour? Not quite what I expect, is this cheap still? Carrying, packing, sitting in a jeep…

Next flight is also great, I get lifted up nearly right away, and hardly run. My heart beats slowly, I turn and glide down, no soaring for me, landing practice, always the fun parts…. not. I come in for the field a bit too long, my angle into the wind is ok, I flare ok and am on my feet but the wind is frisky, the glider pulls and I fall scraping my arm. T-shirt is not the best idea.

Thats it, ‘lesson’ over and I once again fight 4 boys off my glider to get it packed. The money is nothing, but am I learning or just being stubborn? I join VJ and Anandnitty who fy down after me and we walk around the hill and back to the house we left the jeep, 2 km or so. VJ is cool. Its dark now, Eric sits and talks on his mobile, we refuse the offer of chai and set off back to Eric’s house. An hour later I’m back in my apartment and wondering what I’ve let myself in for.

Up early next day to make it for the 7.30 am lesson, still jet lagged, still sleeping late, I sit waiting For Eric and reading my instruction book, Anandnitty is amazed that I’m half way through it already, he has never read it, although he says he doesn’t really read. We leave about 8.30, so much for getting up early and missing breakfast… The toll guards shout at us again, I laugh.

This time I have my camera and we have guest from up country. We park a bit closer to the hill and climb up together. There are 4 of us, Eric, myself and 2 guys from Northern India who are here to fly, or buy something, or test something, I never really understood exactly what. I think their gliders were delayed on the train or something so they were just checking out the terrain for later. Happily they have a new DVD video camera they are keen to test so they point it at me for 20 minutes as I prepare and perform my third flight. “Um, can I have a copy?” :p

I get kitted up and stick my camera on the front of my helmet, for a true eagle eye view of the trip down to the rice fields. Ready, set, go! This time I seem to lift, stall, drop, speed up, repeat. Doesn’t feel like a very smooth flight, perhaps its my complete lack of training on this aspect of flying. Eric shouts some instructions into the walkie talkie, but I can’t really hear him the wind is rushing past my ears too much. I guess he wants a few turns and I oblige, I turn left and follow the ridge, but I’m not climbing, just dropping steadily, I figure I’m a little too close to the hill and turn right, only I don’t turn, I just seem to stop and at this point I’m only 15 meters or so above the hillside, I start to drop, pick up some speed as I half figure I’m about to land on a steep hillside, with no training or idea of how to do it. Like an expendable action man on a home made tea towel parachute I swoop towards the ground… and keep going! I could have reached out and touched the flowers as I went past if I wasn’t so convinced I was about to crash.

My heart decides its time to rumble into life, if this lack of control is anything to go by the landing might require some adrenaline and natural pain-killers. Two turns and its nearly time to reacquaint myself with Terra Firma, I’ve only been up 40 seconds and I have to think about where I’m going to land. Not a very thrilling hobby, and I have the hike back up to look forward to. hmmmm. I spy out the target field and guesstimate how I’m gonna get there, ie can I turn a few more times, or do I need to head straight there. The problem is you have to land into the wind, and when trying to hit a tennis court sided field (because you don’t want to piss off the other farmers) with no really experience or idea of if this is possible, it means you’re busily doing complex physics calculations in your head with no calculator, while wondering if you’re going to survive the experience, trying to listen to the distorted instructions from the walkie talkie, scoping out trees you have to fly past (or through) to the target, thinking about the procedure for landing (out the seat, pull the brakes at 5m, run, turn, collapse…), aiming the camera on my helmet for youtube, checking the canopy…. basically its a bit of a head fuck. Not really the relaxing experience I was led to expect.

I glide in, time for a small turn which is a mistake because it lowers my speed, but I’m doing ok for the field… uh oh, whats that hut thing coming up?? Didn’t seem that from the top… going too slow… line of broken trees… never gonna clear them….have to go through… stalling… IM GOIN IN!! No time to think, have to land into the wind, I drift right, no time to turn, I do the best I can, I tag a small tree on my way past, nothing to be done, flare, run, back on the ground somehow. This time my heart is awake!

For my second run the wind isn’t blowing quite as hard or steadily as the previous day and when Eric says to go I run and run, right off the edge of the hill dropping as I go…. no lift, no wind!! I’m going down, the hills is sparsely dotted with spiny thorn bushes, really nasty things to get caught on as you struggle up the hills and I’m dropping right towards one, out of control at 15 mph! My chances of having children flash before my eyes, I put my feet together and kick my way through it! Despite this I gain some speed, i seem to go up a bit, at least I’m not dropping quite so fast. Its seems ok, but no gliding, no wind, its just a quick trip to the fields for this trip.

Day 316

Coban, Guatemala

In the afternoon it started raining. I tried to ignore it despite the fact that the rain was so heavy it disrupted the satellite signal. It was really coming down. A lot!

The owner started banging on my door and I came outside to find the car park outside my room under 6″ of water, and it was still raining. I changed, grabbed my keys and went to move my car. I opened the gate to find the way blocked by the owners land-rover. He wouldn’t move it either.

He then locked the gate! I was screaming at him to open it and move his car with no joy. Trying not to freak out too much I let him explain that the road outside was lower than the car park. I move everything off the floor of my car and prayed.

Pretty soon my room was flooded :p

I waited and moved my stuff into another room. This one was on the top floor with 6 beds :p After a nervous hour (and more rain) it finally stopped and it all drained away. Maybe it was time to leave.

[ad#ad-1]

Belize City, Belize

I finally got my oil changed on my last day in Mexico. I rotated the tyres, changed the air and oil filter and had a confusing conversation about the fuel filter in Spanish. I didn’t care I didn’t understand any more, it was time for country number four on my world tour. After 4 months in Mexico it was time to leave. I had a final breakfast at a local cafe and dumped about 40 coins for my 52 peso bill before heading off the to the border. After seeing all the Belizean cars queuing for fuel I thought it best that I get in the line as well, just as well, I would later learn that gas is $11 a gallon over the border. Why do the Americans complain?!?

The guard at the border hit me for $10 to leave and had the gall to suggest other tourist pay him $25 for the amazing “service” of pointing out where the car import office was. I don’t think so. I sorted out my paperwork and headed over into the free trade zone between the borders. I got my $5 wheel spray and waved off the guys attempt to sell me insurance. I couldn’t just drive through though as one of the customs ‘helpers’ was keen to point out. He jumped in and we went back to get my wheels sprayed, at least that’s where we were going until I told him, to his amazement, that I had already done it. He also wanted to sell me insurance but I said I had no cash. We turned around and went back to the immigration place. Somehow I got away without giving him any money.

I was given 30 days and the same for my car. My papers all in order I drove my car to the border where it was vaguely inspected by the disinterested guard. He mostly wanted to know how much my bike was worth. $100 if I was lucky, I didn’t mention the laptops, camera gear and guitar. All of this business was conducted in English which was nice, its always nice to be understood. I was soon through and went to the office over the border to pick up some insurance. Since its $29B for a week and only $60B for a month I went for the longer time*. You never know.  Sadly I learned that the disease of speed bumps has spread to Belize too but the roads weren’t too bad, the lack of signs sent me off down a dirt track that I learned would have soon brought me to my destination but taking no chances, and possessing no map, I turned back to seek out the highway turning I had missed.

A hour or so later I was in Orange Walk and with some local currency in my hand happy to be able to buy a drink. I am slightly ashamed to say I was glad to see the Queens face on a bank note. Kinda feels like coming home somehow. Now should I stay or should I go. Accommodation options in Orange Walk were limited, and most people only stopped to go on the river trip to the local ruins. I had just come from 3 major Mayan ruins so wasn’t that bothered about staying. Belize city was only an hour and a half away with more options, certainly for accommodation so I picked up some supplies and got back on the highway. I say highway… it was a paved road. Mostly without potholes.

Outside the SEA hostel I met the Canadian guy I had been chatting to the previous night but some strange force made me keep going to my other choice, the Seaside Guest House. It sounded so tranquil, serene and peaceful. What could go wrong?

The gate was opened by some aging American dude who obviously had had a few too many beers. He was followed by an older American woman who was shouting at him. I had them pegged as other guests and  hoped they wouldn’t cause a problem. I stood in the common area trying to get some service for 10 minutes but there was no one about. It looked like a cool hostel though, lots of drums everywhere and a great library. I found some staff upstairs and it turned out the drunk couple were the owners. Seems like they had been at this all week.

I met up with the other guests, got checked in and a group of us headed over to find some Chinese food. We managed to pick up a local bum who I had asked directions from, which ended up costing me a bottle of coke to get rid of him. We were also on the street it says specifically in the guidebooks not to walk down during the night. 6 people shouldn’t cause a problem, right? Belize city is pretty grotty, the roads are in terrible shape, people hassle you for change everywhere and there is too much trash. Shame really, they have some nice architecture and the working people are friendly enough.

Back at the hostel we found there were another group of guests checking in so we all moved upstairs with a few beers in an attempt to be social. Mitch, the owner, brought us up a couple of drums and we started talking about buying a batch of local rum. His partner Diana had been drunk and embarrassing downstairs with the new guests and she soon came up to have a chat. She then started ranting about being mugged at gunpoint and how the Belizean Tourist Board were going to close them down if they had any more complains. It seems the tourists have been complaining about the hostel. We all wondered why. The other guys seemed to find it highly amusing that Diana seemed to take a shine to me, but at least she was being nice.

It started raining outside and we all felt sorry for poor Mitch who was out getting our booze. He came back and we started doing some serious drinking. Everything was fine, we had the guitars and bongos going.

I found out Vanessa had the Canon 40D and we chatted about photography. She said she was a photographer but I soon caught her out on that one by finding out she didn’t know how to set the white balance :p Faker!

Then everything seemed to go wrong. Diana was getting increasingly drunk and shouting about tourists ripping her off. Mitch managed to calm her down and send her back to bed but she was soon back up and not only shouting at poor Mitch but also now accusing everyone upstairs of not paying our bills. We had a tab open downstairs so thought this wasn’t a problem. I got my guitar out too and was trying to teach Mitch a song when she came over, grabbed the bucket of ice and threw it all over him. I didn’t get wet but I moved my guitar into the wall. I wasn’t impressed!

The rest of the evening consisted of everyone else talking to both of them trying to calm them down but mostly just trying to get rid of them. Mitch wanted to stay with us and chill, Diana wanted to kill him. She came up and kicked the locked door in, was screaming and shouting. We wound up retreating to one of the dorms and whispering behind the doors. Even that wasn’t enough and we got told off for that too. It was a very weird night.

Mitch and Diana. More drama than Mexican Soap.

* 1 day – $12.50B / 2 weeks – $46B

oil change/breakfast/getting rid of change/queue at gas station/border/$25 guard/spray/belize border/insurance-12-30-46-60/wrong road-no signs/orange walk-atm/belize city/heat sink paste/chinese directions/meet the canadian outside SEA/finding hostel/bad roads/drunk owners/hangin downstairs/check in.park up/invited to dinner/olly.jo.vanessa./ATM-shower/belgian couple.john-laurie/walk to chineese/pick up bum for directions/coke/peotry back to hostel/new arrivals downstairs/few beers/row/uncomfortable/go up stairs/rain on baloncy/dog shit/bongos-mitch.diana/diana talking to me/rows restart/mitch goes for rum/guitar/throwing ice/vanessa photographer/diana accusing us of not paying/getting weird/kicking door in/hiding in dorm room/3.3-am

Day 220

New York, NY

Thankfully felt a lot better after my trouble on the plane and managed to get my bags, onto the train into Penn Station and into a hostel. I didn’t feel like wandering all around Manhattan so looked up a hostel in Starbucks and wandered the few blocks to get to it. $48 for a 4 bed dorm! Might have been better value if I could have gotten up for the breakfast but it didn’t happen. I wandered around for a couple of hours and had an early night.

Next day I packed up my bags and jumped onto the Subway to where I would be spending my second night in NY, the floor of a Daniella’s hotel room. She was over for a course for a couple of days and generously let me share her room. I dumped my bags and set off on a mission to buy a new camera lens. My 17-55mm was good, great in fact, but I was constantly finding myself wishing for more reach. A 70-300mm would suit the bill perfectly and despite the fact that B&H, the best camera shop in NY, if not the world, was closed for passover the prices were pretty much the same all over the city. I walked up past Union Square, which I didn’t even recognise in the sunshine and walked west along 17th Street to the Camera store of the same name. $400 poorer I could now stalk celebrities! After a lunch of falafels and snapple I decided to wear out some shoe leather and try to find something interesting to snap. Sadly the track of my route will never be published as I had managed to lose my GPS tracker! It was my own stupid fault for attaching it to my belt and then putting on my backpack. Bleh.

I headed east and then south, ending up under the brooklyn bridge and finding I could photograph birds with some success at last!

I also checked out the World Trade Center site again, and although construction has started on the new towers it still looked much the same as it did the last time I was there in 2002. A bloody mess!

It was a nice afternoon walk back up to the hotel, I was absolutly knackered but I had arranged to meet Dani when she got off her bus…. I took my laptop out to the local Starbucks but for some reason didn’t bother checking my mail…. duh!

I sat waiting from 11pm until 1am and she didn’t show up. I tried in vain to call her but just ended up shouting at the stupid phones in frustration. Her bus broke down and she finally turned up at 2am. If I had checked my mail I would have had a nice sleep :p

wander past union/can’t find shop/17th str photo/wander west/photo bridge/WTC/walked north/use net/meet Dani/2am/sleep on floor.

Day 201

San Juan Teotihuacan

Somehow I got up, got my car packed and left Valle de Bravo. The question of whether there was any paragliding to be done was unresolved. I didn’t see anyone in the air during the 4 days I was there. I wasn’t in the mood to find out it seemed.

I had no idea where I was going.

I looked at the my Lonely Planet in a vague attempt to at least work out my next destination. Roland had texted me to say he was on the beach with his friend but that was a bit to far to go and then head back to Mexico city after only 2 weeks. I figured I could make it to the pyramids near Mexico City, they had a cheap camp site and it seemed  a good enough idea. My only small problem was getting there, but it didn’t seem to far… Driving in Mexico is easy, navigating is not too bad, but there was only me, and driving and looking at maps isn’t a good idea. I was about to have maybe my worst day in the country…

The first few hours were fine, I followed the road towards the capital intending to avoid it at all costs. 25 million people would be a lot of traffic… I also realised I had another problem, it was Friday. Mexico City has a law, not a bad law either, that restricts cars with the last number on the plate from using the roads for one day a week on a rotating basis. So on Fridays the numbers 0 and 9 were banned. I planned to follow the highways around the capital anyway so I figured I would be ok. As soon as I started getting close to city I became increasingly frustrated in a way I hadn’t felt before in Mexico. The road signs would direct me to various suburbs but wouldn’t tell me how to get clockwise around the capital. I had to keep pulling over to consult my map which was proving to be reasonably useless, I couldn’t find any of the places on the signs and eventually found myself driving into the city. Not good. I turned around and came 10 miles back out which was a waste of time, then found the toll road and figured that had to take me North and towards my destination. Regretting the 33 pesos it cost me I had found the right road and joined the speedway drivers taking advantage of the comparatively empty road. I figured I would be able to get to the main town to the north of the capital and the carry on to the pyramids but ended up getting off at the next exit.

My map was off scale, I couldn’t find any where on the signs (half of which were obscured by graffiti), I kept trying to steal glances at my map but at one point nearly came off the road and decided I would rather live. I was getting slightly annoyed. I had no idea where I was so drove onto the next sign. I was soon waved over by a police car on patrol. Uh oh. I shook his hand and gave him my licence and then as usual asked if he spoke English. I knew I was in trouble, but I knew also it wasn’t really a big deal. I felt quite justified being in the wrong place at the right time… fix your bloody signs! The cop started going on about the plates and numbers and althought I didn’t know the specifics of what he said I could guess what the problem was right away. I got my dictionary out and replied as best I could to his questions, mostly I said ‘I don’t understand’. After 10 minutes or so of telling him I didn’t want to be there and I was lost he gave me my licence back and told me to keep going and I would get to the pyramids. I asked if I should go back to the toll road once he showed me on my map where I was but he said ‘just keep going’. Maybe this ‘no driving on friday’ law wasn’t that strict after all…

I did another 10 miles or so in thick and fast traffic. I saw a few cop cars  but they didn’t see me. I started to relax… The traffic started to get more stop and go and I pulled up to some lights and a couple of cops were standing there just waiting to bust someone. A fat grey haired codger and his younger, equally rotund companion.  That someone was me. They took my license and I pulled over. They didn’t speak English either but they had a nice tatty folder explaining the law in English, as if I didn’t already know. They told me I couldn’t drive until 10pm, they also mentioned fines and then wandered around trying to find someone who spoke English. I acted as though I was quite happy to wait around until 10pm, I asked if there were any hotels nearby. I figured I wasn’t in any immediate danger of being arrested. I looked at them a bit closer. Were they really police men? They didn’t have guns or handcuffs. They seemed quite reasonable really. They mentioned ‘Multa’ a few times, the Spanish for fine, but I mostly just ignored the word and asked if I could just hang out until 10. After 20 minutes of hanging around the fat older ‘cop’ handed me back my licence and told me to drive around the block and wait until night. It was about 5pm now and I was still miles from San Juan Teotihuacan where the pyramids are…

I got back in my car, turned left to go around the block… and kept going. It felt so wrong to driving away from the cops but after looking at the map I figured I wasn’t actually in Mexico City anymore. With a deep sense of unease I picked my way through the back streets until I was a few blocks away from my second encounter with the cops. I seriously considered implementing the ‘Assman’ card but then figured what was the chances of getting caught again. I got back on the main road and was stopped at the next lights. This time they really were cops and not just part time security guards dressed up as them.

Bollocks!

Of course they didn’t speak English but I guess they didn’t need to. I pulled over and was directed to a side street where a very seriously looking cop did all the talking. He blathered on for ages, I didn’t understand 10% of what he said but I just played it dumb as much as possible. When he used a word a few times I looked it up in my dictionary. He also kept going on about fines. I tried to bore him by asking where I was on the map, an insisting I wasn’t in the capital anymore. I asked about hotels and waiting around, he told me the fine was 4000 pesos. I ignored that and went back to trying to find out if everywhere nearby had the same law. He said he could let me off for 200 dollars. I said I didn’t have any dollars. I got my wallet out and opened it. Happily it had 20 pesos in it. I pointed to the ashtray full of change I had. He didn’t notice the 450 pesos that was sitting on the seat next to me partially obscured by my guidebook and I ignored it, and covered it up whenever I could. If he asked for my passport I would have been screwed because I always keep some cash with it.

He consulted with his colleague. I guessed I was going to be taking a trip to the station… Instead he gave me back my licence, then gave me directions to the pyramids and… gave me a receipt for the fine I just hadn’t paid ! I drove off quick before they changed their minds!

This is all you have to do if you’re in DF illegally.

I was still deep in Mexico city suburbs though and I didn’t fancy wasting another 20 minutes on cops who may, or may not, get bored with my lack of Spanish. Lets face it if they took my keys and passport I would have no choice but to pay them. And they had guns. It was getting late, I was tired, I just wanted to get to the campsite and go to bed. I knew I was breaking the law but instead of the police enforcing it properly they were just trying to shake me down for some cash and my licence was giving them all the excuse they needed. I felt I had no choice but to go Assman on them.

I pulled over and removed my licence plates.

In New York I had been on the Kenny Kramer tour, the inspiration for Kramer in Seinfeld, one of my favourite shows. In one episode he accidentally gets sent the wrong licence plates which he put on his car. Kenny also sells these along with his T-shirts and mugs. I bought one myself.

I would never dare to do this in the States but I decided I was either going to the pyramids or to jail, I was bored with listening to crooked cops…

I made it to the Pyramids eventually via the most convoltuted route you could imagine, cursing all the way, but I didn’t get stopped again!

Day 200

Valle de Bravo, Mexico

After a few days in Morelia I headed closer to Mexico City on Sunday and made the mistake of checking into a small hotel with cable TV and the Internet. My body clock was messed up in Guadalajara and this hasn’t helped. I was supposed to be paragliding in Valle de Bravo but I didn’t go down to the place they rent gear until yesterday afternoon and the answer was ‘were shut, come back tomorrow at 9am’. Not exactly what I wanted to hear… I was also getting constantly asked at the hotel how long I was going to stay. In some ways I’m the perfect guest, I don’t want my room cleaned everyday, but don’t ask me how long I want to stay because I really don’t know. They asked me so many times I felt I should be moving on.

If the truth be know I have been feeling a bit down. I should be looking forward to coming to the UK but I would now have to try to find somewhere to leave my stuff, get some accommodation in New York… It felt like my trip was coming to an end and all roads were now leading me inextricably towards Mexico City and that flight I had booked. Mexico is cool, but its not exactly overwhelming me with potential travel partners. maybe I’m just looking in the wrong places, but I was beginning to think that I needed someone to get my arse out of bed in the morning and doing something more than reading my latest book or waiting for a movie to start.

I was also slightly annoyed that someone had stolen the wood from my roof in Morelia. They weren’t proper thieves though since they left my bungee cords on the top. But still!! No more car camping for me!

200 days? bleh

Day 163

Mazatlan, Mexico

Time like an ever rolling stream keeps on moving and so should we, next stop : Mazatlan. A major tourist city 400km south of Los Mochis. There are toll roads on the way but we opted for the more interesting route of the free roads which snake through the mountains. Nothing really to report about the drive, we stopped at a Walmart on the way down and stocked up on crap we didn’t need, although a steering lock for my car probably didn’t fall into this category. I nearly killed us by doing a stupid u-turn in the highway and not having the space to get all the way around and nearly being beaten up for having the gall to refuse to get my wind screen washed. My car might be filthy but my windows are perfectly clean, thank you!

We got to the main town in the early evening and started looking for a place to camp before the sun set but to no avail. This was for posh tourists and there wasn’t a tent to be seen. We decided after not spending money on accommodation for the last 3 weeks that a hotel wouldn’t kill our budgets too much but were pretty annoyed to find the 2 bed room for 200 pesos on the phone became 350 pesos when we arrived, 300 with some negotiation. The usual tricks. We set off for a walk around town and saw the crazy statues all along the beach front before heading into the old part to find the funky square where everyone hangs out in the evening. Very romantic but Roland isn’t my type. It was far too expensive though so we wandered back to the hotel and happily found a street stand with tacos and roast potato that turned from being healthy to a health risk after they finished filling it with fat. Was pretty yummy though

Roland enjoys his street food roast potato + 1/2 kg of butter,cheese, cream and meat!

long drive/toll roads?/walmart/illegal u turn/more driving/onto the beachs/no camping/phone hotel/350 not 200/walk along beach/statues/square/catherdal/roast potato/no cafe/free wifi