Road to Kisoro
Not much to report, got my rip off taxi at 4am, was on the bus at 4.30am. It left at 6.40 :p Am I suprised….? I put on my headphones and sleeping mask, blew up my pillow and attempted to ignore the preson behind me shoving their knees in my bag, occasionally pulling my hair and the lack of leg room. It was ok, no need for valium, although if you dont take it early you might be spaced out for the rest of the day. The bus held 69 people and they generally stuck to that. We had 2 boring hours in Kabale when they discovered the brakes didn’t work, happily that was in the bus depot, so we just stood/sat around as various mechanics crawled around under the bus. Eventually they got it sorted around 2pm (an hour after we should have arrived in Kisoro) ad we headed off into the hills. Nice trip after that, very steep in parts, winding mountainous roads with some good views. Got through one of my camera batteries. The local kids were shouting for all kinds of weird stuff like pens, batteries and god knows what else. At around 5pm we got there and I had to decide what to do. I had been trying to call a guesthouse by the gorilla treking office for the last 2 days and after another futile attempt at the bus stop I had to decide whether to go up there now and hope they had some room, or get a hotel in town go up early in the morning. I chose the later and went to get a room at the sky blue motel. I got a driver to drop me off after arranging to get picked up at 5am the net day. All these early starts were killing me! But if I missed my start time at 8am I would be £200 down, there are no refunds because you can’t be botered to get up! I walked into the town fow a quick look around and was immediately collared by Joseph, the local guide and I promised him I would think about a local tour the day after I had seen the gorillas. I put some laundry out for the hotel to do and exploded my backpack over my room. Dinner and an early night I reckoned, after first entertaining the local boys in the middle of town who must have been really bored (I asked where the disco was, they didn’t have one :p) and chatting to the pastor who was also on the bus about theology. Not much happening here!
Last day on Banda
Well, the next day I was up at a reasonable time in order to get some breakfast and pack my bag. I also wanted to explore a bit more as apprently there was a nice big garden where all manner of produce was being grown. Steve told me later this was a lie :p However there were several acres devoted to pineapples which I located, while hoping not to get bitten by a local snake. I had a bad night the night before when I discovered there was a huge spider sitting on the rocky wall by my bed meaning I had to put up my mosquito net in the dark. I guess the chances of it walking across me in the midde of the night were rather remote but the idea was enough to force me into action. The boat could arrive at any time between noon and two thirty, or very possibly any time at all so we were all ready. Even Steve was moving on but then it looked like Dom had done nothing since Tuesday it was probably just as well (by work I mean making sure the staff were still building his super toilet by sneaking up on them out of the jungle). Dan, Limone and Ohart were not looking forward to the return boat journey as the boat in was dangerously overfilled and broke down several times and this wasn’t heled by stories of boats taking 17 hours to go 20 miles, but when it turned up it looked ok and apart from the stink of fish being taken off to market was a pretty good boat. We waved goodbye to Dom and set off in the mid afternoon sun. Great whacky place, I hope I can go back one day. Three uneventful journeys later (boat, bus, taxi) we were mostly back in Red Chili in kampala. Dan and I enquired about dorm beds while the 2 Israelies put up their tent. Dan ordered a beer, I had one too, and another and another. I went to dump my backpack before I got too hammered and went back to find Dan talkng to a English volunteer and 2 Zimbabwean white guys who were off to Banda the following day. We were joined by a couple of Israelies. We then proceeded to get absolutly hammered, the bar closed at midnight and we carried on drinking outside until about 2am. I went off to attempt to be sick and came back to see everyone had gone. Just as well, I didn’t think I would be up early to head off to the gorillas in morning…
Paranoia!
Hmmm, looked like I was the only guest, or everyone else was off partying
somewhere else. In any case I had no choice as the boat was shoved off the
beach and i was now stranded! We walked over to the other beach where the
bonfire was still burning and I was presented with my supper. Dom talked the
entire time, showing me where I could help myself to drinks and where I
should mark my tally. He was slightly worse for wear having apparently spent
most of the day drinking, Steve was also pretty drunk and had arrived earlier
on with his daughter for one of their regular marathon backgammon sessions. I
told Dom in my text that I only ate fish, but he somehow interpretted that as
not eating fish. Anyway I got some beans and chapattis which I washed down
with a bottle of warm beer. I refused the local liquer which apparently ‘make
you more intelligent’ after finding out they reckoned it still had plenty of
non alcoholic chemicals in it.
Instead I ws presented with a huge tin box of, um, shall we say happy plant?
Assured there were no police present on a virtually deserted island on Lake
Victoria I threw caution to wind and helped myself. Well i didn’t want to
appear rude to my host did I? Dom had a severe case of verbal diarrea and
never shut up. However I learn some valuable facts, he was born in 61, had
owned the island for over a decade, unmarried, couldn’t stand people who
pissed him (and everyone else) off and had evicted several such ‘guests’ in
his time, had made his fortune in minerals and mining and had actually bought
the island to mine it. More facts would be forthcoming in the foloowing days,
but since he had a tendancy to bullshit it was not always possible to
seperate fact from fiction.
For instance, is there a village of locals on the other side? Did he really
have 18 people in his employ at one point? Did he really build the pirate
ship abandoned on one of the beaches and sail it up from Tanzania? Other
incredible stories would be related in the following days, but he seemed
friendly enough if rather pissed. Steve said goodnight and went off to bed
leaving me and Dom to admire the moonlit lake with only the lapping of the
waves, nocturnal insects and Doms inceasingly bizzare comments to break the
silence. We had a few more smokes and if I was feeling worse for wear I can
only imagine what it was like for Dom he was absolutley mashed! I got up and
said I had better get some sleep. ‘Ok, sleep well!’ he said. Um, someone had
taken my backpack, apparently to the dorm, and I had no idea where that was!
After three attempts Dom somehow managed to get up and we staggered off into
th jungle in search of the dorms. ‘Gravel is good’ he said as we crunched
along with only my weak mini-maglite to show us the way. Things were rustling
all around us and up ahead there was a building either in a state of
disrepair or being used as a lumber yard. We negotiated ourselves up the side
of the building and around the large stairs on the outside to find ourselves
in the dorms. Outside was a rather grubby toilet with an equally grubby
shower room across from it with 8 bunks just inside. Thankfully my backpack
was sitting next to a made bed. Not having seen the movie ‘Hostel’ but
knowing it was about a crazy murderous backpacking place was probably worse
as my imagination is always in overdrive when Im stoned. What a whacky place,
and when dom suggested he sleep in one of the other bunks rather than walk
back to his house I was certain I was going to be murdered. It reminded me of
how Ewan McGregor felt when they were met in the middle of the night by some
hotellier and taken to some weird place. I lay there imagining that all the
scariest horror stories are ones that you never read about, because they
actually happen and after being chased through the jungle and hacked up by a
machette and eaten, there is no one left to tell the tale.
With these happy thoughts, I somehow drifted off to sleep… only to be woken
up by strange scratching noises, things moving around, distinctly non hippo
sounds this time. It seemed to be all around me, something was coming to get
me, and it sounded like it had talons, bright eyes, furry coat, huge tongue,
a big wagging tail… I remembered Dom telling my that the dogs used the
upstair room as a bedroom. Looks like I was going to make it, going cross
eyed by keeping an eye on each of the doors on opposite sides of the rooms I
somehow fell back asleep….
The Legend of Banda Island
 did some research on how to get to Banda and found I had plenty of time, I
texted the number on the internet as confirmed by a poster in the hostel and
headed into town for breakfast and to find out where the bus left from. I
didn’t want to be wandering clueless around the main minibus station like I
had done in Accra and gettng hassled by touts and everyone while carrying my
backpack but Kampala was amazingly organised with signs giving destinations
and minibuses fillng up and others waiting their turn. They even didn’t fill
the buses to more than capacity, which is nice in a fatal crash! I burned off
a couple of CDs of my photos so far and went back to Masala for fish curry.
Yum, but Dom on the island still hadn’t gotten back to me and it was getting
late. I texted him again, asking him to confirm I would be able to come.
Turning up on some random island with no idea of where it is, if anyone will
be there to greet me (or more importantly cook for me :p) or how the hell I
will get back is an adventure too far even for me (although it would be
cool!).
I went back to the Hostel and just when I was thinking I was going to have to
give it a miss I got 2 identical texts in short succesion telling my to get
the boat ‘Big Fish’ at 3 or 4. Hmmmm, it was 3.38 when I got them so getting
to the harbour in 20 minutes was going to be a problem. I ordered a taxi and
headed into town after first stowing my most valuable items in my video
camera’s underwater housing. African boats eh….? Typically the most time
was spent getting the minibus out of the bus park but once going it wasn’t
too far. The pier is down near the Airport, about 30km most of it on a nice
sealed road with only the occasional goat, chicken or child to get in the way.
Down at the pier I followed the instructions on the Internet and went to the
shipping container cafe with the Banda sign to wait. And wait. And wait some
more… I am a patient guy, but some idea of when we were leaving is always
nice. Still I guess I was better off there than getting dragged onto some
random boat by people occasionally wanting me to come with them. At about
6.30pm I was told to get up and go, some guy with arms like steel cables
would carry me to the boat, give him 500 no more. After he carried me over he
wanted 5000! Despite being there while the cafe owner told me in front of him
to only pay 500. I gave them 1000 for me and my bag and turned my back. It
was a lovely evening, lets go!! hmmm, more waiting….
The sun sunk low in the sky, more people got on, they loaded more stuff, lots
of ice and still we waited. At least there was no danger of sunburn, the sun
then set! It was 2 days to the full moon though and it shone in the Africa
sky. I kept singing that Paul Simon song t myself off Gracelands
‘homeless, homeless, moonlight sleeping on a midlight lake’
Not quite midnight but it might as well have been.
At 7.43pm it was fully night and we sent off! …. for 100 meters anyway,
until the engine died. Not a good start by my standards, however at least we
couldn’t load more stuff! They fiddled with the engine for 10 minutes and
got it going again. I was soothed by the fact they had a spare engine on
board, although why should they need one….? We chugged out of the little
bay and off into Lake Victoria, the pilot seemed to know where he was going
as he pointed it into the inky blackness and kept the same course with
nothing to guide him. I sat and read ‘The name of the rose’ on my phone,
squashing my backpack and trying to relax. It was slightly rough when we
started but the wind died down and so did the swell. Most people fell asleep
(including the 2 babies on board).
I could see a light twinking in the distance and slowly vague island shapes
emerged from the horizon but we were going very slowly. Just before 11pm we
came near the island with the light and people were scrurrying on the beach,
there was a parafin induced whoosh and someone lit a bonfire followed by some
burning ball and chains being spun around madly. Looked like I had arrived,
only we went right past and kept going… I asked the pilot but he just
ignored me, he obviously knew what he was doing so I let him get on with it.
He pulled around the headland and into the next bay, someone came and
collected my pack and i jumped into knee high water. Dom and his friend Steve
were there to greet me on the beach, ‘Welcome to Banda!’.
 To be Continued….
Independance Day
Africa » Ghana » Accra
Flight was ok despite being delayed by an hour or so from Amsterdam. Had to
kick a Ghanaian guy out of my window seat. which is good preparation for the
weeks ahead. Over mainland Africa you could see the desert but it was soon
swallowed up in dust and sand. the ground then just looked like a circle of
fluffy yellow, with a few clouds.
Immigration was a minor nightmare. I joined one queue out of the 5 going and
one of the guys dealing with my line left for a break shortly afterwards. An
hour and a half to get through was the longest I’d spent in line anywhere
abroad. I spent the time eavesdropping on the Swedish couple behind me as
they attempted to get in front of me in the line. fun. Once through (without
a mention of the £50 yellow fever vaccination I had had 
) I grabbed my
backpack and hit the scrum of tax drivers. I didn’t have a single cedi on me
so I ignored them and went for a ATM hunt. no joy. Not surprising really as
the airport was like a deserted concrete shopping mall, the lights are on but
no one is home.
I got a taxi driver to drive me to an ATM and onwards to my hotel. the Lemon
Lodge. I knew straight away that we weren’t going in the right direction, I
might only have been in the country an hour or two but you know when the
airport is 4 km from the city the lights should be getting brighter as you
go in. it seemed like we were heading into the ghetto!! After 5 mins of
mounting concern I realized that plenty of people had seen me in the cab, the
driver insulted and laughed at someone who gave me a stupidly high quote and
was chatting to someone at the garage/ATM. I relaxed. but where the hell was
he taking me? After about 30 mins we arrived at the Golden Lemon Hotel.
Hmmmm. I got my book out relieved to be alive and unmugged and pointed out
the right place. More expensive to get there but I had a night tour.
Lemon Lodge was full so I checked in next door. What a dump for the money I
paid, although the fridge was nice. I had been working nights that weekend so
I was pretty tired. I went for a walk around though, despite it being 10pm
and pitch black outside. There were a couple of local bars but no tourists,I
bought some water and found an ATM for the future. I wanted to walk to the
main tourist area, but after wandering around for a while and nearly getting
lost the map I had didn’t make much sense so I though it best to get some
sleep.
The end is near
8.30pm friday, only 28 hours to go before Im winging my way back. Get
your fake student ID orders in quick!
Kinda happy/sad really, had a great time, but reality beckons and all good
things must come to an end. Back in Bangkok after flying from Saigon this
afternoon, felt suprisingly ok after the mad night we had, Bandy was *much*
worse off :p Spent yesterday doing the tourist things, Museum of American
War Crimes, Market, Cathedral, dodging the rain (and touts) and just
exploring a bit. Met up with some people from the bus from Cambodia for
dinner and then headed out to the ‘Apocalyse Now’ bar, which was a lot
busier than last time I was there. But then it was christmas, and they were
probably having xmas do’s. No room on the dance floor so we had a wander,
ended up in some dodgy bar. Strange how the girls that are desperate for
you to come in and drink when you’re walking past turn as cold as ice when the
answer to the third standard question is ‘well, um, no’ (whats your name,
where are you from, buy me a drink?).
Bandy bailed from his pool game, substituting me, without telling me the
‘wager’ was 100,000 dong if we lost or the girl went topless if he won. Of
course, I made as much as a pig ear of it as he did (although it was very
close). Should of taken our tops off, then its all fair innit :p
Back to ‘apocalyse’ until closing (they have a surfboard nailed to the wall
with the legend ‘charlie dont surf’) and then off to a lockin at another
dodgy bar to talk about teaching english, football (yeah me…) and fake
watches with the yanks, swisses and dutch. Thought I’d call it a night at
that point…. yeah right, back to backpacker central, only managed one
sprite before I was back on the tequila :p Didn’t find our hippy friends
though, shame. Day before it pissed it down so we did the obvious thing…
saigon water park!! Hey, it was the hippies (Ash and andy) suggestion
honest! Nearly empty, still very warm, no english spoken so we couldn’t get
told off for damming the lazy river with all the rubber rings. Nearly killed
bandy on the dark water slide by failing to jump back on the twin raft I’d
fallen off and smacking his head on the wall as we went over the dip at the
end… great fun!!
Made it back last night for 4am which was pretty good I reckon. Tomorrow
I’m gonna shop until I drop and then drink all night until I get my flight!
Shopping might be on hold if I drink myself into oblivion again tonight….
right I need a beer!
Happy Pizza!
Up up and away early the next day, i really should have done some more
research into what we were doing but I vaguely remembered from 3 years ago
on the same road. There is a knack to getting to Angkor Wat without getting
sucked into the nightmare of your average tourist. Its very easy to get
scared and herded in with the rest, only to be subjected to imaginary
delays, breakdowns at convienient restaurants, stops for no reason at all,
all in order to get commision and herd you into the best paying guesthouses
at 3 in the morning. Never again. We got to the northern bus station in
Bangkok in time for the 8.30 am bus AND breakfast, bonus! The trip went
without a hitch, we jumped in a tuk tuk and headed for the border. While
being ably (and uselessly) helped by our local tout (did he really think I
couldn’t figure out which building did what despite the huge signs saying
what they were….?). We got through customs and immigration ok and then my
memory of the required proceedure became a bit fuzzy. We got on a
motortuktuk and tried to get him to take us up the road to where you get
share trucks. We only found one, he tried to take us off the main road but
I called him up on that and we went back. We carried on, the guy was ok, bit
crazy, we had some nice races with tourist buses, they must of thought were
were going the whole way on that death trap!
Eventually the town dissappeared and we stopped on the dirt track in the
jungle and looked at each other. I half thought that this would be went he
would get his gun out, as he stopped speaking english and just spoke
khmyer. I wasn’t too concerned, i jumped out, flagged down the next minibus and
asked the driver if he was taking passengers. turned out he was a angkor
wat guide coming back from thailand and we jumped in the back to the
astonishment of his family.
Nothing wrong with the road, we averaged about 60 km/h and apart from one
stop when we thought the bridge might be down it went without a hitch. My
first time we averaged 10km/h, the second maybe 70 as the road was
completely flat. Loads of room, no pointless stops and his 2 year old
children were more fun to watch than the usual karaoke TV rubbish. Turned
up in siam reap at 7pm, which was 12 hours after we woke up. nice! crazy
germans!
Couldn’t believe the ammount of huge new hotels now! must have been 20 on
the road from the airport, 100+ rooms each, all luxurious. Slightly
different from the $2 room I checked into :p one shower and the obligatory
bumping of the backpack contents onto the bed and were were ready for food
and beer. It all gets a bit hazy after that, first place we saw was ‘the
happy herb pizza co’ and we figured we may as well have a pizza. I
introduced Bandy to the lovely local Angkor Beer (2 thumbs up) and we
shared a medium pizza, also ‘medium happy’ whatever that means. Interesting night,
and I’ve not been quite as happy as that for a good while! Must be the
tomato sauce!
We somehow made it back to the guest house after bizzare encounters with 4
magic trick playing english guys, the indian barman that wanted to kill
them, the worst pooltable in cambodia (it should be shot), the
uncontrollable desire to write down billy joel lyrics (but improved), the
saddest and simultaneously happiest and nicest person with no arms you
could meet and a desperate quest for water by looking for a ‘shop with water’
(anyone will sell you water….). Ah, fun.
Sawadee
Greetings,
may as well start this mail as I wait for Bandy to get back from buying
his guitar, I think I’ll be regretting not getting one in about an hour. He’s
bought exactly the same one that Qatar Airways broke on my last trip to
Bangkok so he really knows how to annoy me!
Well I’m here, I think I’m not jet lagged, after getting up at 2pm and
working all night Sunday and then getting 2 hours sleep on the plane I didn’t sleep
last night until 2am, and I had to practically drag Bandy back out when we
somehow ended up back at the hotel at 11pm. The guy has no stamina! so
Sunday 2pm to Wednesday 2am on 2 hours sleep is pretty good :p
Yesterday was mad, got in at 7am and took a nice convoluted tour to Khoa
San Road. I was planning on ambushing bandy as I said I would be there at 11pm,
as it was he had booked the room in the place I wanted, but put it in his
name! SO the very helpful receptionist wouldn’t let me have it. Probably
just as well as I would only sleep and i needed to stay up and beat the jet
lag. After 1/2 of checking other hostels for my missing travel companion I
stagger back to the ‘New Siam’ and he turns up 10 minutes later just as I
persuade her to give me the key. Its 9am by then and the earliest he’s been
up!
Khao san hasn’t changed much since June, we have a wander, get some food at
the best Thai veggie place I know then set off looking for guitars. I knew
vaguely where it was and its nice to get away from all the tourists and
hassle of backpacker central. Of course, as soon as I told Bandy this ‘no
one speaks English round here’, the words had barely left my lips before
someone asked where we were going and what country we came from :p bloody
touts! Somehow bandy just attracts them like flies, I’m surprised he managed
to make it to the city. He got an unmarked ‘taxi’ with 1 guy, who was
joined by 2 others. They wanted 3,000 Baht, thats 45 quid!! I got my taxi on the
meter and it was 200B and I felt ripped off cos its usually 150! He got
away with paying 1000, I would have ran to the tourist police….. scratch that,
I wouldn’t have gotten in the car!!
Still, its nice to have a friend in a strange city, or it would be if he
wanted to go out. He stayed out a bit longer than me last night and now
he’s sworn off beer….. we’ll see.
We checked out the guitar shops and carried on through Chinatown, wandering
randomly, working up a sweat, but not too much as its rather mild. About 25
degrees or so. I might have to buy some long trousers! Eventually it was a
bit too tiring and we jumped in a taxi to legendary MBK shopping mall. We
even spent some money!! 8 nice new shirts, since i deliberately came with
one t-shirt so I would have to buy some. They have glass booths up on the 6th
floor, which are supposedly sound proof, you put it your money, grab a mic
and karaoke to your hearts content. I insisted we get the outer one, and
some western guys were killing themselves walking past as I was doing my best
wacko jacko impression while singing thriller. All the locals enjoyed the
show too.
Then we went bowling, and its not exaggeration to say I kicked bandy’s arse.
Strike on the first ball, and it was all over from then, I rattled him too
much 
We looked great in those white socks and blue shoes, while sipping
strawberry daquaris from martini glassed. Super!
More food at a great Tappanyaki bar up in the food court, god knows what
bandy ordered, ‘aki steak’ but I think it was squid… could have been
tripe…. oops! This trip should be much more interesting since i stopped
being vegetarian, I can stop being quite so afraid to experiment. Bit more
shopping, got sucked into the fourth floor which is a mistake, its
completely devoted to mobile phones, but I’ll be down there selling mine so
we needed to do some research.
Back on khao san its more of the same, cocktails, curry, pineapple off the
street and avoiding the lady boys. Wasn’t the best idea to try to make it a
big night after so little sleep but I had to try. Gulliver’s just didn’t
seem the same after my adventures last June, we found a nice bar with cute staff
to entertain us and hung out there until I couldn’t keep my eyes open. When
I say bar I mean a load of tables and chairs on the street, the toilet is
down an alley and go right, left, left, right, left and left, you can’t
miss it :p Come twelve o’clock because of Bangkok’s crack down on late night
drinking they remove the tables and get the mats out, but you still keep
drinking. I had a banana daquiri and a pink pussy, it was quite good!! God
knows what Bandy was drinking, I think he was trying to impress the cute
owner with his constitution (and wallet :p).
No reason not to drink tonight though. Wtf is he?? I leave him for 10 mins
and I’ll never see him again! Surely he’s still not testing his guitar!
I’ll have to get up early and get one tomorrow. Looks like we’re flying down to
trat so we can get the ferry to the Island of Ko Chang. Should be good,
I’ve never been. Then back to BKK on Sunday and off to Cambodia, I guess, who
knows….
So much for just starting this mail, I’ve finished it!! I better go look
for him, plonker sold his mobile, looks like I might have to give him a spare
so I don’t lose him all the time.